Dehydrated Thursdays...

 hey GUYS, your not gonna like what we have to say tonight. Our apologies.

     There seems to be a measles outbreak in Boston... Can someone please explain to me who did not receive their kindergarten physical? After calling my mom today in a frantic fury she thoroughly explained to me that I received the vaccination for measles in kindergarten, and every kindergartner in the U.S. had to in order to attend school... Measles, what a joke.


      So speaking of outbreaks, let's talk breakups. The remorse of what someone coulda done/shoulda done lingers in our quad amongst a few roommates. One of us however, suffers from what we like to call "black heartedness", its truly sad actually. Here's the deal. We're young, shit happens. people change. people grow apart. HOWEVER, "one still fades into the past as the future becomes and an abrupt reality... "- Widge... "I have no idea what that means"- Stasiee. Bottom line is, college is the time to have fun, make mistakes, and get drunk with your friends. So let's pretend that boys, (ahem) "men", aren't real.


    Hey, even Eva Longoria gets cheated on and shes gorg, it happens. LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP PEOPLE: do not always bank on getting married to this person, because chances are, NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Don't allow a persons mistakes to slide just because you love them, they'll just take advantage of you, lose respect for you, AND DO IT AGAIN. Move on to bigger and better things no matter how much it sucks. Life goes on. Have a glass (or six) of wine and shut up.

Tips from Dom Mazetti, its a good start: Dom Mazetti vs. Break Ups
..but seriously, try not to look so desperate.


More break up advice: WHAT NOT TO DO.
DO NOT:
1. call the person, drunk or sober... or blocked, you know who you are. dick.
2. listen to any song that reminds you of the good times you've had (Taylor)
3. try to "get back at them"... revenge is not pretty, your classier than that.
4. stalk their FACEBOOKS. facebook is the DEVIL. GET RID OF IT.
5. drunk texting, dont.
6. try the "just be friends" thing... its not gonna happen, i don't care how DOPE his ride is... but seriously no matter how much you want to make it work, its still a disaster waiting to happen.
7. compare each guy you meet to this former boyfriend, its unhealthy. give that cute guy in your class a chance, he might surprise you.
8. do not contact his family. EVER. disconnect all ties. immediately.
9. i dont care how appealing he may be, do NOT hookup with his best friend. you will cry about it later that night.
10. don't shit talk him to all your friends, or complete strangers. you look desperate and immature.

Even more break up advice: WHAT TO DO :)
DO
1. surround yourself with friends.
2. try not to mention them as often as possible in conversation.
3. DRINK... not belligerently or enough to send you to the toilet. but just enough to get you giddy.
4. listen to happy music, empowering music. beyonce does it best.
5. find a new guy, even if you dont like him. if he's cute, go for it. keep an open mind.
6. BE SELFISH. focus on YOU, what YOU like and what YOU want.
7. play with some makeup, put on some cute clothes. you'll be happier internally if you feel better about yourself externally. I hear this Christina Gallardo girl does some great work with the face (SHOUT OUT)
8. spend more time with your family. they might drive you crazy, but they know what they're talking about (mom)
9. do something drastic. make a change in your life. dye your hair. get a crazy haircut. join a club. go skydiving. push yourself out of your comfort zone. 
10. do what makes YOU happy.


If you don't find this helpful, then your just being a rebellious douschebag. stop it, now. your bitter and not facing the fact that your ass just got dumped.


We'd like to dedicate this post to anyone who has been dumped, cheated on, or broken hearted. Even if YOU did the dumping, your still hurting and you know it. When it comes down to it, just remember... karmas a bitch. (he'll start balding at age 25, get laid off from his factory job, and live in a trailer with his gas station girlfriend and their 4 punkass kids... don't sweat it).


For those of you who have been blessed with drama free relationships, or dare we say, NO relationships. GOOD FOR YOU. we commend you on your single lifestyle and your practical life choice. we just hope your not out there sleeping with 3 different guys a month, not a good look. if you are, wrap it up always. you don't know what's out there.


In all honesty though, we're sick of your tears. stop crying and get off the couch. pull up the window shades and turn the lights back on, your creeping people out. by the way, taylor swift just makes things worse.


Throw back, we know this was ALLLL over your aim profile back in 6th grade. Eamon freaks, this goes out to you.

you DONT want them back. listen to Eamon, he knows his shit.



Fellas, tomorrow will be better. Tonight was for the bitches, we love 'em even through their disturbing sobs.

Stay positive,
Stasiee and Widge

...So we started a blog

In light of current inspirations, we've decided to compose a simple site, of our complicated thoughts and daily actions. Though one may think we are writing in professional terminology, one would be so wrong... Okay so here's the deal. This is how we talk, deal.


Little background info.
Stasiee: age 19. hates the color pink and butterflies. enjoys blowing things up in her mind. dislikes her college with a fiery passion but remains due to convenience and good grades. enjoys fictional movies involving wizards and vampires. eats chipotle 5 times a week. works with shoes, rumpelstiltskin? hates job. hates new england due to cold weather intervals. at this point your probably thinking, "wow what a miserable bitch". uh, yeah, sometimes. but i smile a lot so i guess its okay.

Widge: age 21. loves the color pink, hates butterflies. is bitter towards every relationship. drives a piece of shit ford explorer on the verge of death, no heat no radio. babysits daily. regrets each day that passes. bitter, yes. but more optimistic than stasiee. hates chipotle. loves new england and being cold. looks forward to a cup of coffee each day (dunkins). regrets being an English major, will be broke some day (being a teacher).


Uhhh, thats pretty much it. the gist of our miserable petty lives. stay tuned, shit gets interesting.

today's highlights:

"DERRRINK ME! derink me!"... does anyone remember the rugrats episode where chuckie is chased by the sippy cup in human form?


In other news, Cain killed Abel, fucked up.

Lord Byron has a clubbed foot, but slept with over 200 woman in a year, one of whom was his half sister. sexual. (Shout out: Vatalaro)

Sparky's Place is now restocked with hot sauce and served oatmeal for dinner.

We both got great spots in rape after 10 pm, booya.


...Today was a good day.


We'd like to dedicate our first blog to Agatha Trunchbull (reference the movie "Matilda") for making Bruce Bogtrotter eat the whole chocolate cake.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iK4iR_stpoo



Better tomorrow... promise
Stasiee & Widge